As you can see, it’s been two and a half years since I’ve posted here (not counting the changes I made to N.K. Jemisin’s book review, below). It’s been a busy two and a half years. I’ve switched jobs. (I think I’ve mentioned that.) I’ve had a parent receive and beat (for now) a cancer diagnosis. (I know I’ve mentioned that.) I’ve quit my job to focus on my writing, and then gotten divorced and had to go right back to work. (That’s new.) And through it all? This blog has been hanging around my neck like… a dead millstone, maybe? Not an albatross, I hope, but something dead and kind of smelly and decayed and very heavy.
I started this blog for two reasons. One was that my now-ex thought I needed to dig around in the confused soup of artistic impulses, nerdy fascinations, and career desperation that made my psyche at the time, and somehow create from that a “personal brand.” I hope, now that we are both older and wiser, we would both roll our eyes at the idea that a person should start a blog with the sole goal of becoming a “personal brand.” Since he’s not here and I don’t feel like taking a selfie, let’s let Liz Lemon take care of it for both of us:
The second reason was that if I was going to blog anyway, I might as well teach myself to write book reviews. This was terrible and went terribly. If this blog was just me nattering on about plants and pretty pictures I found on the internet, I might look back on it with affection. Instead. Most of my reviews are too long. I was trying to unapologetically acknowledge the parts of books that I disliked, because I thought I used too much moderating language. That may have been true, but that approach ended up with me yelling about a lot of books I wasn’t actually mad at. I do not, for the most part, stand by the reviews on this site. I seem to remember feeling like I did an ok job with Solitaire by Kelley Eskridge, but I’m afraid to go back and look at it, particularly since it was probably written 3 or 4 years ago now. And I think of the complete hatchet job I did on N.K. Jemisin’s Hundred Thousand Kingdoms and on Vonda McIntyre’s Starfarers, and I’m just filled with abject embarrassment. I still think Starfarers is silly, but it didn’t deserve the wordcount I gave to being upset about it. And I’ve already said that I was way too freaked out about a health crisis in the family to be trying to review Jemisin’s book when I did.
All of this is a typically long-winded way of saying, this blog is going away. Probably sometime this coming January. I wanted to get a post up here a little ahead of time, just in case anyone ever came by anymore. (And if that’s you, after two years of hiatus, I salute your loyalty!) To my mind, this blog is the blog of my twenties, and of my marriage. The marriage went away this year, and the twenties are going to follow close behind. It’s the right time to move on. I’ll probably blog again at some point, though if I do it will probably be under a different name because I’m a
sockpuppet, anonymous internet coward, person who always wanted a pen name because my given name is hard to pronounce.
I’m not really sad the blog is about to vanish. It feels like an appropriate end to a very eventful and emotional year. I am sorry to any loyal readers I may have had; you deserved better in a lot of ways. If anyone wants to keep up with me from here on, my twitter account is definitely the best way to do that. My handle is @wordsmith85.
Thank you, and be blessed.
*Please note that I am writing this late at night (for me, an old person, anyway). Edits for clarity may occur in the next few days.